“Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?”
The first verse of Auld Lang Syne makes me reflect as the old year ends and the new one begins. Usually I am filled with thoughts of gratitude for the good times and relief that bad are behind me.
For 2020 it’s mainly relief but this year a bit of regret popped up too.
In the hustle and bustle of the last few decades, I made choices intentionally and accidentally. This un-busy shut in year has me looking back at the person I am and the journey that got me here. I realize that a few decisions which might have felt right at the time weren’t actually authentic choices. One in particular stuck out…my name.
“What is your name?”
If you had asked me this before I turned 3, I would have replied “Pun’kin” But knowing that school was around the corner for me, my parents cleared things up for me. My name was actually Andie, or when I was in trouble, Andrea Lynn.
Over the years, I chose the formal version. Andie was goofy or maybe too tenderhearted. Andrea seemed better suited to my serious and mature side. Junior high school had me pulling out my nickname again and dusting it off for a few years. But in the middle of high school, an emotional rollercoaster in the best of times, our family moved and the return to Andrea gave me a little distance and armor during the transition to a new high school and college shortly after that.
So back to 2020…I am grown up now. Ethan and I celebrated our Silver Anniversary a few years ago and our three amazing children are all over 20. My maturity isn’t really in question and my serious side is here to stay. But I have a fun loving, adventurous side too. So I think it is safe for Andie to come out of the shadows for good. With this change, I intentionally recall the bold braveness and calm confidence that she had by the fistful.
Cue another sigh of relief… Not the “Phew I survived 2020” kind… more of a “Thank goodness I am home again” with a sprinkle of “Cozy Sweater”.
You will hear me say frequently that you are your own best asset. Every day you have the choice to show up as your best self.
What do you miss?
Did you mean to let it go?
Most importantly, what are you going to do about it?