Are you up to your eyeballs in the fear of failure. Have you started fantasizing ways to quit what you are doing? Here is a trick I use in that moment when I realize quitting isn’t actually an option. I shift my perspective from expectations to possibility.
Usually the issue is that I have expectations about what is supposed to be happening and deadlines that are looming or have passed. “I expected my company to make seven figures this year.” Or.. “I should have a great relationship with my teenage kids.” It feels like winning when you have it or losing when you don’t. And here’s the truth, unmet expectations equal anger, disappointment, guilt, and shame – the nasty side of the notion of failure.
Now if I pivot to possibility, then this same idea of what should be happening has a much longer runway to get off the ground. There is no hard deadline. Unmet possibility is neither success or failure… yet. “My business will have annual gross revenue of a $1M” or “I am going to have an exceptional relationship with my kids.” If it isn’t true yet, there is time to keep trying. No failure, bitterness or shame to slow me down.
Not only will you be less stressed if you use this strategy, you will actually be more likely to succeed. When the plan fails, the goal gets tossed away far too often when we have expectations. If you look at it through the lens of possibility, you will see that while don’t yet have the result you want, there is still time to change the approach and change the plan if necessary.
Check out The Art of Possibility Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Roseamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander and her follow-up book, Pathways to Possibility for more on how to create this practice in your life. Both books are full of real life stories and tips to try that will tap into your own creativity to create transformation and fulfillment. Find the links for these as well as my other favorites on Andie’s List.